Stranger Than Your Sympathy
by Doctor Addison Montgomery
Summary: SamPhil. When Sam’s fiancé dies in a car crash she expects her friend to be there for her but Phil is having trouble battling his own feelings for her. [SP] Please review. Xx
1. Keep It Together

**_Stranger Than Your Sympathy_**

**Summary: Sam/Phil. When Sam's fiancé dies in a car crash she expects her friend to be there for her but Phil is having trouble battling his own feelings for her. SP**

My new SP fic which I promise will get the attention my other TB fics haven't been getting. This is slightly different to what I usually write but will still have some good ol' SP in there too!  
Reviews are loved! Xx

**Chapter 1: Keep It Together**

Samantha Nixon knew that something was wrong even before the phone on her desk began to ring. It was a feeling in hurt that made her uneasy and unable to concentrate on her work. She stayed away from coffee that morning, she was far too on edge already, but now caffeine withdrawal was giving her a headache. When the phone did begin to ring Sam nearly leapt out of her chair the same way she did everytime they had a fire alarm practice, even with prior warning.

"DS Samantha Nixon?" She answered, briefly closing her eyes against the throbbing pain in her temples.

"Hello, this is Nurse Mayer from St. Hughes hospital. Your fiancé Mr Potter has been omitted. I'm sorry Detective, but he's in a very bad way."

For a moment Sam couldn't speak; no words came to her.

"Wh-what happened?" She finally choked out, her voice sounding alien even to her own ears.

"He was involved in a car crash earlier this morning." The nurse paused. "I'm sorry Detective, I'm going to be brutally honest with you, his chances aren't good."

Sam breathed out slowly, trying to gather herself together.

"I'll be right there." She put the phone down and stared into space for a while, trying to get her head around the last few minutes.

* * *

"Don't let DI Manson catch you doing nothing Sam, anyway that's supposed to be my job…" Phil Hunter joked from his nearby desk but abruptly stopped when he saw the look on Nixon's face. "Is everything okay?" He asked. It was a foolish question to ask; just one look at Sam proved how far removed she was from being okay.

"I have to go." She said, getting up quickly and nearly knocking over the precarious stack of witness statements on her desk in her haste to gather her belongings together. Phil, who had come to her aid, caught the paperwork before it could topple onto the floor.

"Hey," He said soothingly. "What's going on with you today, Sam?"

She didn't want to talk about it; she could not fall apart at work again. She had done that far too many times in the past. She bit down on her bottom lip as she pushed her mobile phone and car keys into her handbag.

"I'm fine. I've got to get to St. Hughes." She said. She still hadn't accepted the news about Adam yet. Sam couldn't believe how close she was to losing the man she had promised her future to. The look of concern on Phil's face only added to the mixture of emotions she was experiencing.

"Can I drive you there?" Phil asked. To him, Sam didn't appear in a fit state to drive.

She shook her head, touched by his kindness all the same. There was no way she could allow a man who she had once had feelings for to drive her to visit her ailing fiancé. It just didn't seem right or ethical.

"No thanks Phil. If you see the DI can you tell him where I am?"

Phil nodded. "Of course I will." He agreed and Sam began to make her way out of CID. "Sam!" He called after her. "You can talk to me about this, you know, if you want to. I know you have Adam now…" Phil stopped seeing the reaction he had provoked.

Sam's eyes swam with tears as the realisation hit her.

"I've got to go." She said, but before she left she turned back once more. "It's Adam."

Phil nodded, hoping for Sam's sake that he had misinterpreted her meaning.

* * *

Sam's hands were shaking as she switched the engine on in her car and put it into gear. She took a few deep breaths before moving out of the car park. As she drove the relatively short distance to St Hughes hospital Sam forced herself to concentrate on the traffic so she didn't have to think about Adam and what the hell she would do if she lost him.

Sam was unable to find a vacant parking space so she abandoned her car in a space reserved for doctors. Nothing mattered now except getting to Adam's bedside as quickly as possible. She headed inside the hospital and took off her gloves as she approached the reception desk.

"Adam Potter please." She said to the slightly overweight receptionist.

"A moment please, ma'am." She replied.

Trying to hide her disgust, Sam got out her warrant card and tapped it impatiently on the desk. The receptionist looked up in irritation until she saw that Sam was with the police.

"He's up in the ICU, first floor." The receptionist told Sam with false politeness.

Sam nodded her response and headed for the stairwell in order to avoid the queue for the lift. By the time she reached the Intensive Care Unit Sam was slightly breathless and her heart was pounding. She took a moment to calm herself before approaching the nurses' station.

"Hello, I'm here to see Adam Potter." She said to a pretty Oriental nurse.

"Are you family?" Nurse Lowe asked.

Sam nodded. "I'm his fiancée." As she said this the diamond engagement ring on her left hand caught the gleam of the stark, fluorescent lighting. "And I'm also a detective with the Metropolitan police."

Nurse Lowe turned back to her computer terminal and found Adam's details.

"He's in bed 8." The nurse pointed Sam in the right direction. She took a deep breath of the sterile air and began her journey, dreading but totally unprepared for what she would find.


	2. Carry You Home

**Stranger Than Your Sympathy  
Chapter Two: Carry You Home**

**Okay, it's been almost a year since I started this story and lots of you review, which I really appreciated. Unfortunately exams, coursework and my laziness got in the way but I've finally gotten round to writing more. I really hope you guys who reviewed are still interested because I'd really like to carry on with this one. It's different to my usual fics, mainly for it's lack of fluff, but there will be some eventually and soon it shouldn't be quite so depressing. If you wanna read more, please review because that really encourages me to write. And I promise not to leave so long between updates next time!  
Ramble on, here goes chapter 2! The lyrics are from James Blunt's 'Carry Me Home'. This song was on the radio everyday at work last week and inspired me to carry this story on. Thank you James, haha!  
Xx**

_Trouble is her only friend_

_And he's back again_

_Makes her body older than it really is_

_She says it's high time she went away_

_No one's got much to say in this town_

_Trouble is the only way is down,_

_Down, down._

The steps Sam took towards Adam's bed side seemed to take forever but then, all too soon, there he was. Sam could no longer deny that this was happening to her. She had put off accepting the reality of the situation for as long as possible but now, here she was, stood before the bed where Adam lay, countless wires and tubes connecting his body to machines and monitors. Sam barely recognised the lifeless Adam as the man she had promised to marry.

"Oh, Adam," She gasped, sinking to her knees beside his bed. "I love you so much." She whispered, her eyes filling with tears as she reached for his hand. A nurse, the one who had spoken to Sam on the phone, approached and placed her hand on Sam's shoulder in a reassuring gesture.

"Can I talk to you a moment, please?" The nurse asked.

Sam nodded, standing up and following the nurse to a quieter corner of the ward, her green eyes never strayed from Adam though.

"As you can see, Adam is in a critical condition." The nurse began and Sam had to resist the urge to roll her eyes; that much was painfully obvious to her and she wasn't a trained physician. "It will be a long time before we can stabilise him, if we can at all. He's lost a lot of blood and the doctors haven't been able to assess the extent of the damage yet. I'm sorry Samantha, but you need to be prepared for the worst news."

The use of her first name jarred something inside of her. Still, she managed to hold it all together, nodding in what she hoped was the right places. She just longed to begin the day again or have this all be a nightmare she could wake up from. Samantha Nixon was old enough to know it was useless to wish for that. She just hoped that she and Adam would make it through this together. However, that chance seemed to being getting slimmer by the moment.

_As strong as you were, tender you go  
I'm watching you breathing for the last time  
A song for your heart  
But when it is quiet  
I know what it means  
And I'll carry you home  
I'll carry you home._

Phil Hunter was sat at his desk when DI Neil Manson approached him. He looked up nervously as his superior officer stopped, he felt himself panic a little as he tried to think up an excuse for Sam's absence. He had lied to Neil enough times himself, but he was more concerned with not getting Sam in trouble than he had ever been about himself. He quickly racked his brain for the excuse that would cause Sam the least grief when she finally returned.

"Uh, Sam's not here right now guv, she said something about her fiancé..." It was still difficult for Phil to get his tongue, let alone his head, around that word. It was even harder because compared to Sam's other partners over the years, Phil actually genuinely liked Adam Potter. It had been a struggle but Phil had tried his best to appear happy for Sam but he had always entertained the fantasy that one day the two of them would end up together. He knew he had to accept that for what it was though; just a fantasy.

Neil looked at Phil with something resembling sympathy. "You haven't heard?" He asked.

"Heard what?" Phil was confused; he didn't understand what the DI meant.



"Sam's fiancé died, Phil. He was in a terrible car accident this morning, they took him to St. Hughes but his injuries were too severe and he didn't make it." Neil's expression was grave as he told Phil the news.

Phil was so shocked that it took a few moments for Neil's words to sink in. "Where is she now?" He managed.

"She's still at St. Hughes." Neil replied.

As soon as the words were out of DI Manson's mouth, Phil was already standing up and pulling his light grey jacket from the back of his chair. He knew Sam would need him now. Neil watched Phil go, he didn't have the heart to stop him. He could understand Sam's pain, he had felt the same way when Andrea Dunbar had died and wouldn't deny her the comfort of having Phil by her side during this difficult time.

_If she had wings she would fly_

_And another day God will give her some  
Trouble is the only way is down_

_Down, down._

Sam was still sat beside the bed, Adam's hand grasped tightly in her's. She could not bear to let go, both physically and metaphorically. Her black eyeliner and mascara had smudged down her cheeks, mingling with her tears but this was the last thing on Samantha Nixon's mind. She could sense the nurses bustling around the ward and she knew they wanted her gone so that Adam's body could be taken down to the mortuary but she wasn't quite ready yet. She just needed a few more minutes with him. Since her conversation with the nurse, a doctor had appeared and explained that Adam had serious internal bleeding and that an operation would be necessary as soon as his body was strong enough to cope with it. However, if they didn't operate soon he would die anyway. The seriousness and the reality of the situation was finally hitting Sam and she wished she had someone there with her; her daughter, her sister or even someone from the station.

Instead, she kept her vigil by his bedside alone, hoping and praying to the God she didn't believe in that her fiancé would be spared. The beeping of the machines alerted the nurses and Sam was pushed to one side while doctors worked on Adam's frail body. It was no good, the damage from the accident was far too severe for him to recover. Sam's heart sank to her stomach as they read the time of death and turned off the machines helping to keep her lover alive. She went to his side and sobbed into his chest, barely believing that this was happening to her. She notified people of the deaths of close relatives all the time, especially when she had been in uniformed but this was so different.

"Samantha," The nurse from before was by her side again. "We really need to move Mr Potter now, we need to make room for other sick patients."  
Sam nodded and sniffed in response, not trusting her voice. "Can I go down to the mortuary to be with him for a little bit longer?" She asked.

The nurse told her she could and led Sam back to the waiting room where she made her a sweet cup of tea, while Adam's body was taken downstairs.

_As strong as you were, tender you go  
I'm watching you breathing for the last time  
A song for your heart  
But when it is quiet  
I know what it means  
And I'll carry you home  
I'll carry you home._

The traffic was appalling as Phil wove his way through the city towards St Hughes; the nearest hospital with an emergency department. He spotted Sam's car in the car park and found a space near it to leave his own car. He displayed a police badge and quickly exited and locked his car. He crossed the car park, trying to dodge the deeper puddles and he was grateful when he reached the warm and dry interior of the hospital. He approached the reception desk where a pretty blonde woman asked him who he was here to see.

"Adam Potter?" She confirmed, her badge telling Phil that the receptionist was called Kirsten.



"Yes," Phil replied, becoming impatient and tapping his foot on the panelled floor.

"He's been taken down to the mortuary," Kirsten told him, Phil was already heading towards the lifts that went down to the basement of the hospital. "But you can't go down there!" She shouted at his retreating back. Phil pretended not to hear and strode towards the lifts. All that mattered right now was Sam, not hospital protocol.

_And they were all born pretty in New York City tonight  
And someone's little girl was taken from the world tonight  
Under the stars and stripes._

Phil had managed to bluff his way passed the guards at the mortuary, his warrant card definitely helped. He made his way to the room where Adam's body was being stored for now. Because he had only been in the hospital for a few hours he would have to have an autopsy. Phil knocked gently on the door leading to the small side room, before pushing the door open slightly and stepping inside. When he saw Sam she looked like the shadow of the woman she used to be. Adam's death was going to hit her hard, he knew that, he just had no idea how he was supposed to be there for her and support her when he loved her so much. Would she ever heal from Adam's death? Phil felt a sudden burst of rage towards the man, he knew it was irrational but how dare he hurt Sam like this. He tried to push the surge of emotions aside and be here for Sam, that was what was most important.

"Hey," He said softly. "Neil told me what happened, I'm so sorry honey." He advanced slowly towards her and Sam finally dragged her eyes away from the body of her fiancé to look at Phil.

"Phil?" She asked in surprise. "What are you doing here?" She was pleased to see him, surprised, but pleased.

"I thought you could use a shoulder to cry on," He said softly, walking to her side and resting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you," She whispered, standing up. "I just can't believe this is happening to me."

Phil saw real pain and real sorrow in Sam's green eyes, he desperately wanted to reach out; to touch her; to hold her but he figured that now was probably not the best time.

"I'm so sorry," He repeated, the words seeming redundant now.

"Can you take me home?" Sam asked. "I don't think I should drive."

Phil shook his head. "No, you're in no state to drive and yes, of course I'll drive you home Sam."

With a final look at Adam, she leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I love you, Adam," She whispered, eyes filling with tears as Phil felt a stab of glass through his heart. She turned back to Phil and led the way out of the mortuary.

Phil took her hand and Sam didn't object, they walked to the lifts in silence. Sam was lost for words and Phil didn't know what to say.

"Don't worry about your car," Phil said, as they exited the hospital and he kicked himself for saying that. It would be one of the very last things on her mind. "We can sort that out later."

Sam nodded, her mind far away on others things. She had so much to consider and all she wanted to do was run away. Phil's comforting presence was helping a little though.

By the time they drove away from the hospital, the traffic was worse than before because it was rush hour. The cars were nose to tail on the motorway and Phil looked over at Sam and saw that she had fallen asleep. It had been an exhausting day for her and he was glad that she was getting at least a few minutes sleep. When they arrived back at Sam's house she was still asleep so Phil took her keys out of her bag and went to unlock the front door. When he came back to the car she was still asleep so he lifted her carefully out, supporting her weight in his arms and carrying her to the house. He took her upstairs and laid her down on the bed, removing her jacket and shoes and covering her with a blanket.

"I'm so sorry," He whispered again, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead before leaving the room and shutting the door after him.

_As strong as you were, tender you go  
I'm watching you breathing for the last time  
A song for your heart  
But when it is quiet  
I know what it means  
_

_And I'll carry you home  
I'll carry you home._

**_Please review! Xx_**


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